Insult Jokes

Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho, Itna qatil kaise sharma lete ho, Kitni aasani se jaan le lete ho, Kisi ne sikhaya hai.. ya bachpan se hi kamine ho?

Definition of Best Friend: . . . . . A person who opens his mouth just to Insult you!

Yaad hai ham pehle kahan milte the.. Train ruki, khidki khuli, nazro se nazre mili aur aapne kahan.. ALLAH KE NAAM PE KUCH DE DE BABA!!!

Its MONSOON & I’m sure U must be feeling Romantic U must be feeling like Going Out in the Rain, Dancing.. Sing Songs.. Splash Water.. Well, . . Every FROG feels the same..

Khush to bohut hoge tum, baat hi kuchh aisi hai, 1st april jo hai aaj, dil mein gudgudi si ho rahi hogi, aur kyo na ho.. saal mai 1 hi toh din aata hai jo hota hai sirf tumhare naam.

Aapki yaad mein ek shair arz kiya hai.. Aaj hai mangal, kal tha peer.. Wah wah… Aja hai mangal, kal tha peer.. Kabhi to kuchh bheja kar ‘FAQEER’.

Girl Friend: I want a ‘Blackberry’ or ‘Apple’ on upcoming Valentine’s Day!! BF: Anar Ka Season Hai Anar Ka .. 2 Kilo Leta Aaunga..

Achchi Baat to Sabko Achchi Lagti hai dosto… Lekin.. Jab Tumhe Kisi ki Buri Baat bhi acchi Lage to Smjho ke.. Tumhe Pyar .. . . . . . . . . . Nahi hua hai, ZALEEL hone ki Aadat ho Gai hai..!!

1 kanjoos tha, Bilkul kanjoos tha, Khalis kanjoos tha, Bohut ziada kanjoos tha, Aap mat ghabrao Aap ke samne to wo kuch bhi nahi tha,

A boy calls his EX- Boy : Hey i just saw a movie, it reminded me of you..miss you.. Gal : Awwwww.. even i miss you..kaunsi movie dekhi? Boy : Ek thi daayan :D

A girl puts status on Facebook: Feeling fresh…!!! Boy comments: Tatti kar li kya?? *blocked forever*

Ek ladka gadhe ke samne gir gaya. ek khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha: Apne bade bhai ke pair chhu rahe ho? Ladka bola: JI BHABHI JI!

Wife: I hate that beggar. Husband: Why ? Wife: Rascal, yesterday I gave him food today he gave me a book How to Cook!!!

Iss dharti se lekar uss amber tak.. Do hi cheez gazab ki hai.. Ek mera bholapan.. ek tera kaminapan.

Dil ne kaha dosto ko message kar, Mobile uthaaya, phir socha rahne de DIL TO PAAGAL HAI Phir socha DIL paagal hai to kya hua, Dost kaun se normal hai ..!!

Maine 1 din Mandir ki Daan Peti mein 1 rupaya daal kar 1 achha dost manga.. Tab Bhagwan ne Muje tum se milaya aur kaha: 1 rupaye mein AISA hi milega.

Child: Mummy why Gandhiji has no hair on his head? Mummy: Because he spoke only truth. Child: Now I understand why ladies have long hair…. Moral:- Remains the same.

Example of self insult, Boss (In Angry mood): Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai kya ?? Boy (Nazre jhuka ke): Nahi, Boss: Neeche kya dekh rahe ho, Upar meri taraf dekho.

Hai, smart, bahot, woh, hai, bheja, ne, jis, aur, hu, raha, padh, se, niche, ko, msg, jo, hu, pagal, woh, Main. . . CONFUSED? . . Ab msg niche se upar padho..!!

Wo kya sahegi pyar ke dard ko. . . . . . . . . Kal activa se giri, ab tak ro rahi hai..

Husband: Saare cooking show dekhti ho fir bhi thik se khana banana nahi aata..??? Wife: Tum bhi to blue film dekhte rehte ho maine kabhi kuch kaha..???

Aadmi keval 2 prakar ke hote hai ek to jinda aur dusare Shadishuda

You can’t stop laughing. Wife: Tum to kehte the ki Shaadi ke baad bhi mujhse bahut Pyaar karoge. Husband: Mujhe kya pata tha ki tumhari Shaadi mujhse hi ho jayegi!

Aap ki Kahani Meri Jubani: Aap ke pass dimag hai, Chalta nahi alag baat hai. Aap Smart hai, Koi manta nahi alag baat hai. Aap shareef hai, Lagte nahi alag baat hai. Aap ke pass Mobile hai, Call aur Msg nahi karte alag baat hai. Kafi izzat hai Aap ki, Koi karta nahi Alag baat hai. Aap ki itni Bezzti ho rahi hai, phir bhi Aap SmS padh rahe ho kya baat hai.. HA HA HA

Shopping mall ke bahar ek mast si ladki ko dekh ke.. pappu uske paas gaya aur bola Pappu: Maine kaha jaanu i love you. Ladki: Tere jaiso pe to main tatti bhi ni karti. Pappu muskurate hue: Phir kya huya sohnyo, ek paad hi maar do.

Why Boys get Blocked on Whataspp!! Boy: What’s your Name? Girl: Palak and you?? Boy: Paneer!!! *BLOCKED!!!* Girl: What’s UP? Boy: Uttar Pradesh *BLOCKED!!!* Girl: tu Soya hai? Boy: Nahi! Mungfali hun..! *BLOCKED!!!* Girl: See ya! Boy: Var Ram chandar ki jai! *BLOCKED!!!* Girl: Have a Good Day. Boy: No thank u… I like Parle-G more. *BLOCKED turant!!! Boy: Thank you. Girl: My Pleasure. Boy: My Bajaj Pulsar. *BLOCKED Forever!!!* And the best one.. After fight: Girl: Tum toh mujhe manaate hi nahi!! Boy: Tum kya ho? Diwali ho? EID ho? Ya Holi? *BLOCKED!!!*

1 ladka gutter me gir gaya… tabhi 1 ladki ki awaz aayi surf excel hena ‘daag ache hai’ Boy: Teri MC, daag itne ache hai to.. niche whisper kyu lagati hai.

Ek Aisi Cheez Bataa jo hai toh teri, lekin Hamesha Dusre Lete Hain? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Abe… Tera NAAM Yaar!!!! Tu Gaa*d Samajh Raha Hoga na… Chal Koi Baat nahi.. Tu bhi Apni Jagah Sahi Hai…!!!!

Bhai Suna ki kal raat 4 gundo ne aapki kanpati pe gun rakh ke pucha- -Goli maru -Ya Gaand? . . . Aaj aap ko whatsapp pr online dekh ke khushi ho rahi hai.. Good Decision..!!!

IN 2018 Bhikari: Bhagwan ke naam pe kuch de de. Engineer: Ye le meri B.Tech ki degree rakh le. Bhikari: Tujhe chahiye to meri M.Tech ki rakh le.

Girl: Paheli ka jawab do, Masal masal k khada kiya aur thook laga k andar kiya? Boy: SUI DHAGA Girl: Chal be Chutiye.. Teri to soch hi bachon wali hai.

Husband: Aadhi Raat Ko Apni MOTI Biwi Ko Jaga Ke Bola… Ghut Ghut Ke Marna Sahi Hai, Ya fir Ekdum Se mar jana? Biwi: Ekdum Se mar jana accha hota hai!! Husband: To Apni Dusri TAANG Bhi Mujhpe Rakh de Aur Kissa Khatam Kar mera!!!

Choose any one animal from these and i’ll tell u about ur future -Peacock -Parrot -Owl -Crow -Pigeon -Sparrow -Duck -Eagle Reply must.. M waiting.. ==== Your future says that all the money invested by ur parents for ur education has been a waste… these are not animals…they r birds !!! Hahahaahaa

Ladki pic upload karke likhti hai: Hi friendzz kesi lag rahi hoon..? . . . Boy: tere baap ne 15-20 hazaar ka mobile leke diya hai to ghar me 500rs. ka sheesha bhi lagaya hoga.. uss mein dekh le, humse kya poochhti hai ‘Bhootni’ kahi ki…

Wife computer par kaam karte hue apne pati se boli: Koi achha password batana….? Husband: Lu*d. Wife: Has-Has ke chair parse gir padi kyuki.. Computer says: Aapka pasword Chhota hai…

Touching lines said by a boy to a girl during breakup . . . . . . . . . . . behen gifts to wapis karti ja teri bhabi ko kya do ga!

70% Ladki sundhar hoti hai, 75% Sweet, 85% Shararte hoti hai, 90% Quit aur 100% Bewafa, Yaani total ladkiyan 70+75+85+90+100=420 hoti hai yeh sach hai kya ?

Bhakt: Swami ji, Aisi Patni ko kya kahte hai jo.. Gori ho, Lambi ho, Sundar ho, Inteligent ho, Pati ko samjhe Aur kabhi jhagda na kare? Swami: Mann ka Vaham kahte hain Beta, Mann ka Vaham!!! ��

Best Slogan on a MAN’s T-Shirt: ‘Please Do Not Disturb me, I am Married and already very Disturbed’

A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served… the husband said: The food looks delicious, let’s eat. Wife: Honey.. you say prayer before eating at home. Husband: that’s at home sweetheart… here the chef knows how to cook. ��

Husband: I found Aladin’s lamp today. Wife: Wow, what did u ask for darling?? Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times.. Wife: Oh.. Jaan.. Love u so much.. Did he do that?? Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn’t apply on zero.

Pani me gayi hui bhais Aur Shopping mall me gayi hui ladki.. Kabhi jaldi bahar nahin aati. ��

Ye Sms jis Khoobsurat Insan ko milta hai. Wo 5 second baad Behosh ho jaata hai.. (^_^) 00:01 (“_”) 00:02 (+_+) 00:03 (‘_”) 00:04 (*_*) 00:05 Nahi huye? Khoobsurat hote to behosh ho jate.. Mujhe to bohat mushkil se hosh aaya tha, uff!!

Paglo ki 4 nishaniya 1- RIGHT hand me mobile pakdna.. 2- Anguthe se screen touch karna 3- Msg padh kar muskurana 4- Phir sochna kisko send karu! ��

Biwi ko subeh uthaane ke alag alag andaaz! Hindu: jaanu priya Utho Swera Ho gaya. Muslim: Beghum Utho Chand Dhal Gaya hai. Christian: Darling Get Up Its Dawn. But Punjabi: Utho Soniyo Tatti Shatti Nai Karni raat de padd maar maar nakk saad ditte je..!! �� ��


►Coming Soon More►